Men and Their New "Social Struggle"

3 01 2011

Monday, November 22, 2010



Last Saturday I went to my 1st ever male ‘beauty’ pageant, Mr. International 2010. Yes, it was a beauty pageant for guys (even though ‘beauty’ may not be the most appropriate word). And no, it’s nothing to do with bodybuilding. Well, except for those sculpted abs and biceps, as additions to the gorgeous look. I can’t say the event was not interesting at all. I was practically smiling and giggling throughout the show. And when I add the words ‘swim suit competition’, I bet you all will understand.

Aside from the cute guys lining on the stage, half of Jakarta’s metrosexuals apparently attended the event. Some girls were there, but in a very rough calculation, the ratio of girl to guy was around 1:5. Surprising turnout for a male pageant? I don’t think so. If you’re gifted with the GayDar, then it must had been beeping like crazy there. On that night, looking stunning was not only for the 40 finalists who came from around the globe. If they open the stage for a runway show, the majority of the guests can be on that runway. Even though the invitation said ‘Suit’ as the event’s dress code, you would find it very difficult to see guys wearing cocktail-suit. All you can see were silver/shiny blazer and pants, tight shirt with slim tie, skinny jeans and other clothing that screamed “party time at the club!”. Me? I wore my boring corporate-look black blazer and pants, white shirt with blue streaks, and slim blue tie which I’d taken off before the show began.

After I got back from the show, I kept on thinking about how having good physical appearance is a must for Jakartan guys nowadays (it may not be specific to Jakarta). Jakartan guys are in someway forced to go to gym to get their 6-pack abs, wear fashionable outfits that exemplify their biceps, use fancy grooming products and other efforts to make sure when they walk that mall lobbies, girls (and gays) will turn their head or at least glance at them.

I kinda think that the gay guys have something to do with this new trend.It’s obvious on how gay guys are ‘obliged’ to look good. Hey, it’s a tough market out there and we have to make sure that other gay guys can recognize us, their future lover *wink*, easily in this bustling, ever-moving city. But why is it so about physical appearance? If you’re asking that question, perhaps you haven’t been introduced to a species of Homo Sapiens called men. Men is all about visual. That is just how they were assembled in the factory. That is also why women spent millions of Dollars (yes, Dollars) on their dress, make up, liposuction and Botox since guys look at their boobs and butts, not their eyes. So girls, next time think again if you want to buy expensive mascara and eyeliner. You may want to consider buying some push-up bras. Just a suggestion. And when it comes to gay guys, the “visual” nature becomes stronger since they need to attract their fellow species who are obviously all about visual. That is perhaps the reason of why this new culture all started.

Now the pressure of looking good is not only exclusive to the gay community. The virus has spread to heterosexual guys who are battling their way to get attention from the urban girls. Why so? Well men, both hetero and gay, are subject to the basic law of evolution. Adaptation is an obligation if they are to survive and sustain their existence in the fierce urban competition of lifestyle, social status and sexual pleasures. Girls nowadays don’t only look for guys with kind heart, warm smile and pleasant personality. Aside from thick pocket, high-class status and future financial investment, girls nowadays are looking for guys who look great, physically fit and good in bed. These girls want to make sure when they come to a wedding reception, other girls will mumble “lucky bitch” when they look at the guy holding their hand. Not to mention their gay friends who would totally go bitchy and sarcastic when their girl friend introduce her new sloppy-looking boyfriend who happens to have a PhD. Brain? doesn’t sell. So when people say, “Don’t judge the book by its cover,” they’re actually saying, “I’m not attractive and try to make a excuse of being so.” People judge and they do it in split second when you first meet them., thus proving that looking good is just another part of the current social structure.

Well, on the behalf of the gay community I would sincerely apologize if you, heterosexual guys out there, is living under this great pressure of the new social norm. So, just a tip for you, gays and non-gays: just throw away your baggy jeans and forget that messy-out-of-the-bed look. Jakarta is a jungle. And by jungle I mean it in a Lipstick Jungle kinda way where Zara and Top Man determine who deserve to be on the top of the food chain.




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